


Queen Mother

by Skyborne (LordImperium)



Series: Everqueen AU [3]
Category: Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Not to be taken seriously, not canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29997084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordImperium/pseuds/Skyborne
Summary: A crack AU of Everqueen where Isha is the mother of not just the Eldar, but also Humanity and the Emperor. Chaos better watch out...
Relationships: Isha and the Emperor of Mankind
Series: Everqueen AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920826
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

_**Fourteen Million Years Ago:** _

_**[The Temple of Isha on the homeworld of the Aeldari, where Isha herself is sitting on a majestic tree shaped in the form of a throne, with a glass of wine in one hand.]** _

**Isha: ...I’m so bored. There’s nothing to do these days. Maybe I should have gone with Kurnous on that hunt…**

_**(As if summoned by her words, an avatar of Kurnous materializes next to her throne, an enormous spear dripping with Ork blood gripped in one hand and a satisfied smile on his face.)** _

**Isha: Good hunting, dear?**

**Kurnous: Very. Had to keep my power restrained to make it a challenge, but it was still enjoyable.**

**Isha: Hmm. Perhaps I’ll come along next time.**

**Kurnous (grins broadly): You should! It’ll make for a good outing and it’s been too long since you and I hunted together. We can take Lileath, and even drag Vaul out of that forge of his.**

**Isha: Mmm.**

**Kurnous (pauses, shaking off the thrill of the hunt to focus on his wife): Is something wrong, my love?**

**Isha: Not really. I’m just...bored. The children are all grown up, and they don’t need us to look after them much these days.**

**Kurnous: They do still look to you for your advice and approval, even more so than they do for Asuryan. Even Lileath, despite her current rebellious streak.**

**Isha: I know, I just...I miss being a mother, looking after children. It feels odd not to be chasing after children these days. Tending to my gardens is enjoyable, but it just isn’t the same.**

**Kurnous (chuckles): So, what you really want is more adorable children to dote on and spoil.**

**Isha (huffs a laugh): I do, I admit it.**

**Kurnous: Well, we could always have more. And the process of trying is always fun…**

**Isha (laughs): Yes, we can always make more…(trails off as an idea comes to mind)**

**Kurnous (raises an eyebrow, recognizing the expression on his wife’s face): Isha? Dare I ask what you’ve just thought of?**

**Isha (excited): I can make more children! Not just one or two directly, but an entire species. Oh, I’ll need to find a suitable planet, terraform it, plant the seeds…**

**Kurnous: ...dear, are you sure that’s a good idea? What will the others say? What of the Aeldari?**

**Isha (waves a hand dismissively): They’ll say nothing. I’m sure they’ll all be happy to have another species to influence. The Aeldari will follow Eldanesh’s lead, and you know how much he loves teaching and guiding people. He’ll adore the idea of having a race of younger siblings.**

**Kurnous: I know, but still. I don’t think Asuryan will be too pleased at you going behind his back like this, and Khaine is...Khaine.**

**Isha: It will all work out, trust me. And you can’t tell me it won’t be nice to raise the children properly this time, instead of having to do it in the middle of a war…**

**Kurnous: That’s...true…**

**Isha: Now, I just need to think of which planet would work best. Maybe one of the garden worlds that the Old Ones used to have...oh, I know just the place!**

_**(Some time later, Earth)** _

**Isha (standing up, wiping her hands): Let’s see, that’s everything done. I’ve laid the groundwork for my new children’s growth and made a World Spirit to oversee them while I’m not around. Nothing to do now but wait! I can’t wait to introduce my new babies to everyone else!**

_**(Meanwhile, in Asuryan’s Court)** _

**Asuryan: So, Lileath, you said you had a new prophecy?**


	2. 2

8000 BC, Somewhere in the Warp

_Isha is sitting in her garden, glaring at a pool which shows her a view of the Materium, more specifically the Eldar engaged in another murder-orgy_

Isha: Stupid Khaine, stupid pleasure cults, stupid kids, stupid Asuryan…

Another scream of agony echoes from the pool, of the Eldar slaughtering their own kin for ‘sport’

Isha (eye twitches): Okay, that’s enough of that, I need to see something that won’t make me so angry. Time to check in on Earth again.

Isha swipes a hand and the view of the pool changes, shifting to a familiar blue and green planet, with Isha focusing in on one area as she listens to prayers.

Isha: Hmm, let’s see. The Shamans are doing good, developing the basics of magic that the World Spirit showed them. They should be able to start civilization building soon, a few shamans are about to reincarnate-more daemons, seriously?!

Casting a quick glance around to make sure no one is watching, Isha reaches out with a tendril of power and obliterates the daemons, freeing the souls of the shamans.

Isha: Damn it, I need some sort of permanent solution for this. Asuryan is going to notice what I’m doing sooner or later, and the World Spirit isn’t enough. If only my babies had a...protector of...their...own…

Isha: I’ve got it!

_On Earth_

Shaman 1: Are you alright, young one?

Shaman 2: Yes, teacher, that was a close one, but the Mother reached out and saved us from the soul eaters.

Shaman 1: That is good. But the Mother’s eyes are not always on us, and we have lost too many already. I fear we may be doomed...

Shaman 2: Surely not, teacher! I am sure the Mother will show us a way forward.

Shaman 1: One can only hope, my child.

As if by magic, teacher, student and all the other shamans begin to hear a voice in their mind…

_**My children, the dark ones seek to devour and corrupt you, and my ability to protect you is limited. This is what you must do...** _

Sometime Later, in the Warp

Isha (speaking through the World Spirit): -and that is how you must become your own protector, and shield your people from harm forevermore.

Upon finishing, Isha hastily cuts off her link to Earth’s World Spirit

Isha: Damnit, that was risky, but it had to be done. I hope nobody noticed. And this had better work…

Isha: ...it won’t work. I just know it. I’m asking my babies to do _a god-forging_ when they haven’t even left their homeworld yet. But what other choice do I have? Damn it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go with the second chapter of Queen Mother.
> 
> Also, uh, I opened a [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/skyborne) recently, for anyone whose interested. I only accept donations, not commissions, and I'd be grateful for anything people give me.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sort of spiritual successor to Everqueen TTS (because I don’t know if or when I’ll pick that up again) as a self-indulgent crack timeline which I do for fun.


End file.
